Mother Nature never let's me forget for long that it is "SHE" who is in charge

5/19/2011 ~ Today a friend asked if working on the tornado clean up teams was bringing me into a depressed state.
It was a fair (and good question).  Something is definitely happening but this is what I told her - the tornadoes have driven me to reflect upon my mortality and the fact that no matter what I think in my head I have no true control over "life".

I am not certain if you have had an opportunity to "stand" in the middle of some of "this" damage.....If you have stood in it and you allowed yourself to pause and let what you were looking at "sink in" then you may have felt the amazing power.  (Which gives me chills even as I type this).  You have a sense of awe at the magnitude of what you are seeing ~ but there is a surreal silence ~ a strange silence.  Because the land has been laid bare there is nothing for noise to rick-o-shay (SP?) off of ~ nothing to contain laughter and voices and allow them to echo. Within that deafening silences comes the reminder that we are mortal ~ and quite small.  As much as we believe we are "in control" of ourselves and our lives ~ we aren't.

For every house, family, business, etc. that was touched in any way, shape or form there were lives changed.  The life the people woke to on the morning of April 27th ~ is not the life they had when the sun set that evening.  Their reality changed.  The magnitude of it all is indescribable.  Depression?  Maybe.  But more than that a sense of taking things in small bites at a time.  Yes I guess it is probably depression but not the "depression" we are all used too.....it does "feel heavy" but in a different way than regular depression.  It is almost a subconscious game of allowing your brain to slowly take in all you have seen ~ and with it you consider what you would do in that situation.  Where would you go?  Where would you start?  Who would you call?

I heard a commentator say we should be calling the storm victims ~ Storm Survivors.  I agree.  They ARE survivors not only of the storm but of the aftermath ~ they have already survived more in 3 weeks than I can comprehend.....and for some this will go on for years.  Please pray without ceasing......soon (and sadly) other catastrophes and emergencies will take away the public's attention from these people but their need and hurt will still be as large as it is now.